Video game villains are as renown as the heroes who face them. The more notorious villains are: King Bowser, Ridley, Kraid, Mother Brain and Gannon; each villain is relevant to their series. Yet I am not looking for relevance I’m looking for machismo. I get tired of metro sexual villain with their English accents stinking up the gaming industry. Final Fantasy’s Sephiroth is the prime example of a metro sexual villain.

When I battled Sephiroth I automatically noticed that Sephiroth had flowing white hair; the kind that most women would kill for and beautiful hypnotic. This villain resembled a male model on the cover of a romance novel. There was nothing scary about Sephiroth; except the music. Sephiroth was the prettiest villain I have ever battled and that ain’t a compliment! During our battle Sephiroth hair never fell out of place and the looks he gave me through Cloud was uncomfortable. Was this Sony first metro sexual villain or was I seeing things?

Bowser on the other hand is the most macho villain of them all. Bowser may not be as powerful as Sephiroth or as legendary as Gannon. Yet Bowser proves to be the alpha male amongst all video game villains. It’s the classic bad ass formula that makes Bowser manlier than any other villain. The formula resembles that of “Star Wars.” Princess Peach is definitely Princess Leia and Mario is the dorky version of Han Solo. This makes Bowser, the one and only Jabba the hutt. In “Super Mario Galaxy” Bowser kidnapped Princess Peach and forced her to wear an interstellar slave girl costume. Oops! That was Star Wars but regardless you guys see the machismo. There is nothing metro sexual about Bowser; he is simply a fierce monster who is enamored by hot chics or Princess Peach. Bowser is a humongous mutant turtle with big teeth, big eyes and a big ego as a true villain should be.

So when asked whom is the badass boss of all time. Don’t say the Geneva-fied, sexy man himself, Sephiroth. Chose the less megalomaniac villain, who not only packs a punch but is also monster enough to chase after a woman out of his league. I salute you Bowser. King of the macho villians.