MARIO
Mario has been around longer than I care to write yet he is still the lame plumber who never bangs the girl. Mario doesn’t speak, he doesn’t work and he doesn’t have a social life. What is missing from the 3 decade Mario storyline is back story. Instead of saving the world can Mario unclog a few drains or snake a toilet. Is Mario married or does he have any kids? What’s with Mario’s vow of silence? These are all valid questions we would like to know about this kick ass plumber. If anything we should know why he decided to become a plumber. I would love to see a cinematic scene where Mario’s father “Vito” tells him he won’t amount to anything then the scene pans to Mario saving the galaxy.
DONKEY KONG
Everyone fears a big ape running rampant in our neighborhood, right. Well if they do, why is Donkey Kong so lovable and warmhearted. They even gave him a son for god sake. Is Kong good or bad? How dare you make Kong cuddly? The revamped Donkey Kong should be a hell raiser and a true terror. The Kong should be cruel and brutal. The presence of humans should annoy him. No, it should enrage him! Years of captivity at the zoo should make for a pretty pissed off ape. Now let’s see would a mere plumber try to capture him.
MEGA MAN
Mega man also known as Rock Man debuted in 1987 by Capcom for the Nintendo Entertainment System. With a goal to store everlasting peace Mega man and Dr Light set out to destroy Dr Wily and his goons. Nice concept! But everlasting peace is so yesterday. War, genocide and homicide is so rampant these days Mega man should be more of an enforcer. Revamped, Mega man should seek hard core justice in a antihero type of way. My vision of Mega man is a slightly toned down Galvatron aka Megatron. Now that’s badass.
METROID
Nintendo revamped the Metroid series and made it a kick ass FPS and it’s hard to fix what isn’t broken yet I have an issue. My issue is the space pirates. For such ambitious creatures they look dumb as hell. Zorak from “Space Ghost” seem more intelligent and these alien scientists. If Space pirates are so intelligent, why don’t they have opposable thumbs? Can you truly operate and build devices and platforms without thumbs? How do you pull the trigger to your rifle if you don’t have thumbs Mr. Space Pirate? I can appreciate the space pirates altering there genes for their soldiers but dammit give the space pirate scientist hands instead of claws. By the way, I’m willing to believe Kraid and Ridley are immortal.
I know Nintendo isn’t the type of developer to revamp their characters to this extreme but sometimes you have to think outside the box. When “Metriod” became an FPS there were a lot of disgruntled gamers yet it turned out fine. Let’s push Nintendo to evolve it’s characters and make them truly next generation.
Reference columns An interview with Mario and Nintendo owner are content with Classic Games
Posted by Roger Thorpe, Mar 17, 2008 04:59 AM
josh wrote on Mar 17, 10:04 pm
what a lame article
Orian wrote on Mar 17, 10:17 pm
Why was this garbage even posted? Revamping the Nintendo characters would be like Disney changing Mickey Mouse so he was rapper. Not only is it a bad idea, but your suggestions are equally ludicrous. A villainous DK? Gee, well, I guess that means he won't be getting any more games. Megaman's not a Nintendo character, and he's revamped once every five years. There's Megaman, Megaman X, Megaman Zero, Megaman.EXE and whatever is going on in the DS Megaman games. Dunno, as I haven't played 'em. As for the Space Pirates... uh... expecting aliens to conform to our own physical image... is moronic, and limits creativity. Try again when you actually know what you're talking about. You have no legitimate argument since you left out the only Nintendo series in need of a complete overhaul... Star Fox.
jimi wrote on Mar 17, 10:22 pm
^^^^^^I agree, there's more grammar errors then actual words in this lame, pointless, and unecessary article.
Dongs J wrote on Mar 17, 10:44 pm
While we're talking about revamping "Nintendo" characters like Mega Man, how about Joel Parker? I think Nintendo should relaunch him as a character with basic grammar and proofreading skills.
Zephiroth wrote on Mar 17, 11:05 pm
lame article, i think the ppl that wrote a comment before me have said everything that is to say about this "article" well, whatever, not everything in the world should be as halo or gears of war
contra wrote on Mar 17, 11:06 pm
Here come the grammar Nazis Don't you guys have anything better to do? God you guys suck cock. Also, the beauty of free speech, is that you can write an article about what you want. That's why he wrote this article. You may think its lame or stupid, but I think your mum is lame, and obviously your lives are lame.
Ben wrote on Mar 17, 11:28 pm
Wow... your a complete dumbass.... the point of the Nintendo characters is the fact people know who they are, and what they are about. im sorry your to much of a moron or realize the franchise development but before writing a terrible article do a little more research on your sales numbers and and some fact on why the games sell so well....... again..... dumbass
Azel wrote on Mar 17, 11:46 pm
This is so predictable, the vow of silence, much like with Link's case, has to do with the fact that the player is the character, therefore the player can project whatever he wants into that image, it's an important part of the character. Also has to do with the fact that it's a game, not a movie. Games inherently don't need to have a storyline, they do because it gives them personality, but if you're gonna overdo it, specially with Mario, you'll pretty much ruin it. Storyline heavy games are a sub-genre, not a norm. On top of it it's a yesterday "hip" thing, it's not the trend anymore and people at large have become bored with it. We already have a pretty good outlet for deep stories, we don't need games to be ruined by them.
Boj wrote on Mar 18, 12:20 am
I'm going to say this as nicely as possible: NO! I realize games have to go with the times, but seriously, look at all the protagonists from the days of old that are Mario-ish in line. Sonic's been on a downhill spiral since he learned how to talk. Yes, the adventure games are good, but still yet it was the start of problems for Sonic. Mostly from those two games the camera, and then digressing into portions being a mech game. Complaining about no back story for Mario is odd. I'm sure if you look in the right 1980 manual to a video game, you'll find your backstory for Mario. Donkey Kong is the root of a lot of players' memories. Heck, my brother grew up with the original arcade game when DK was as you say: a hell raiser. Also, let's leave hell raising to the people down here in the south. These people know how to do it properly. Mega Man, as someone else has already pointed out is not Nintendo based. I'm not the biggest Metroid fan, but it seems like you don't like the fact that the enemies didn't have thumbs. O_o what? I didn't play the game, so I can't complain, but still.....what?
darkpower wrote on Mar 18, 01:59 am
God, you guys are something. Having an open mind can reap advantages. Maybe these ideas aren't the best ones in the bunch, but c'mon. We're the ones that want innovation, and then when we are given a chance to HAVE it, we don't like what is given. But again, OPEN MINDS are a plus! Though...it DOES have a load of grammar errors, that article does.
JayRock wrote on Mar 18, 07:54 am
I would appreciate an upgrade on Nintendo published characters. Everyone thought a Metroid First-Person-Shooter was stupid until Metroid Prime.
moneysworthless wrote on Mar 18, 04:14 pm
wow. that was absolutely horrible. it wasn't funny, it was boring and you're reasons sucked.